Finding Purpose When You Feel You Have None

Photo by Dariusz Sankowski on Unsplash

As a high-school graduate within the past two years, it’s been rough. If you’re near graduating, have graduated, or have any older siblings, you know what I’m talking about. People don’t mean to send you into panic mode, but hearing the continual questions of, “What are you going to do now? Are you going to college? Are you ‘fill in the blank?’” is pressuring. I want to scream, “I DON’T KNOW!”

For the past year and a half (at the time of this writing), I have been trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my life. I never considered college too seriously, and one of the jobs I tried for fell through. I’m currently considering a couple of jobs, but the feeling of “trying to make the right choice” is challenging. I’ve prayed about it, and something I’ve felt God telling me to do is to wait. It’s hard not knowing what I’m waiting for. It’s tricky explaining that to my non-Christian friends too—that I’m waiting on God for direction.

Something that He has been laying on my heart lately is redeeming the world of art. I love making movies and writing, and both of those things impact our culture largely, mostly in bad ways. I want to influence those areas well, and so I’ve been writing.

While I’m not exactly achieving “nothing,” not having a “real” job makes me feel self-conscious about what I am doing. I admit that I feel purposeless when people ask me what I’m doing, and I tell them “nothing,” because it’s not making me any money. I feel like I’m wasting my life, and it doesn’t help that I procrastinate a lot.

Today my mom asked me and my brother, “What is your vision for God’s kingdom?” So, I told her what I told you all: I want to redeem the world of art.

Somehow that led into talking about a writers’ conference I had attended in June 2017, and one session in particular. I pulled out my notes from it to share with my mom. First of all, the speaker talked about waiting on God and how that is hard. Haha, yep, it is.

About a page and a half into my notes, I came across this one line: “My identity is not in what I do/my profession.” I knew that already, but reminders are the best.

The next page of my notes said, “We need to express our failings and feelings in story to help and encourage others.” Okay.

These are my feelings. These are my failings. I’ve been looking for purpose in what I’m “doing” instead of, to reference the speaker again, “who I’m being.” This is not to be confused with trying to create ourselves into perfect people. Please don’t do that. We will end up trying to wear impossible masks and being miserable, because (1) we are not attaining to the person we want to be, or (2) we will be prideful and begin to put others down because we think we are something. Everyone struggles. No one has it all together.

It could be that you’re feeling purposeless in your life, in your work, or in your writing. But listen here: Jesus doesn’t create purposeless people. Don’t try to find fulfillment in what you are or aren’t doing; turn it over to God and trust Him with it. Offer yourself to Him for His purposes. If you don’t know what that purpose is, do what you do as best as you can—for Him.

Sometimes it feels like I’m telling God I’ll do anything He wants me to. Then He tells me to wait, and I say, “Aw, Lord, I meant I’ll do anything but that.” Part of that, I think, is the uncertainty that that is truly what God is telling me, and so I feel like I’m being lazy.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 [Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved]

To finish off, I’d like to include a quote from one of my good writer friends who I’ve adopted as my twin.

“God will show you...in His perfect time, He'll show you. He'll lead you where you're supposed to be, and His guidance won't be too soon or too late. That's what I'm having to trust God about, lately, not to stress about the future because God already has it all worked out, and He'll get me where He wants me if I'm doing my best to listen for Him and obey Him. But yeah, it's hard being in this spot when we don't feel like we're really “doing” much of anything. Another thing that's good to remember is that there is purpose in the holding places of life, and we must trust God in the middle of them, even if it doesn't feel like we're moving forward or like He's working. We can grow spiritually and otherwise, and we can learn how to trust and prepare for the future, when things “start happening.” Waiting is a gift, as someone put it.”

It's easier said than done, but I hope that it has encouraged you as it has me. We are here for a reason: to bring God glory. You do have a purpose; ask God to show you what it is.

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What are some of your failings, and how can you use those to help others who are struggling in the same way?

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