Dumped by God (and a gift for you!)

Photo by Leone Venter on Unsplash

The night of February 4, I sat in a classroom, listening to a man share about his time in Papua New Guinea, telling the Iteri people group about Jesus. I’d heard him speak before, and his story is fascinating, exciting, and satisfying. At the end of his talk, I sat there, wanting to be part of stories like his. A story that changed the lives of an entire people group, and not just their lives, but their future history. This man brought the story of Jesus to a people who’d never heard of Him, and He transformed their lives.

Enter conflict. I love writing. Maybe too much. But after that class, I wondered, “Is writing really what God wants from me?” Or am I supposed to move overseas to a Vietnamese mountain village to tell another unreached people group about Jesus? Am I wrong in my deep love for American people, for those in U.S. Armed Forces, and for my passion in writing my own work, but also fueling others to write?

Last year at this time, I found myself so confident in writing. I knew it was what God had for me. But after that night, I had an odd mix of excitement and fear that God was saying it’s time to move on to something else. But I didn’t want to.

A struggle ensued over the next couple of weeks between my deep desires to keep writing and looking for ways to serve the military, and the feelings that I was supposed to be preparing for the rest of my life serving in Vietnam (there’s a reason for that specific country, but now is not the time for an explanation). I felt guilty for not wanting to move to Southeast Asia. I felt frustrated, discouraged, and torn. I wanted to obey God, but I did not have the same fire in my heart for overseas work as much as I did the passions already listed. Was I being selfish? Was I putting myself first? Was I just being “safe?”

Then my amazing friend, Sharon, wrote Showing Up With a Secret Message. She talked about how she had given up on asking God for things. It made me realize that, even though God already knew my thoughts, I wasn’t talking to Him about how I felt. I didn’t tell Him that I want to write for His glory. I didn’t tell Him that I want to bring hope and healing to those who serve my country. I don’t know why I didn’t tell Him. Maybe I was scared that He wouldn’t care. But Sharon’s post got me thinking. And so, I asked. I asked Him to show me clearly what He wanted. I told Him that I wanted to keep writing. I told Him that I wanted to change lives and write stories of hope. I told Him that I love my country and people and want to serve them.

And then I realized…it’s okay to love my country. It’s okay to want to serve them. People are people and God cares about them all, no matter where they’re from. There’s nothing wrong with loving Vietnamese people. There’s nothing wrong with loving Americans. There’s nothing wrong with loving Europeans or anyone else, whether they’re your nationality or not.  

And like a trickle, God opened my eyes. He had provided me with a “Tips to Writing Historical Fiction” guide (my dream genre) the month before. He used the Clearwater Press team to compile and release a good books guide, full of historical fiction novels. He provided notes from Daniel Schwabauer and an acquaintance/writing mentor of mine on the impact of books and historical fiction.

If that wasn’t enough, my friend forwarded me an email linked to a FREE online writer’s conference, hosted by Flourish Writers. Six days, 25 sessions, contacts to bloggers, editors, agents, and tips on traditional and self-publishing. The speakers gave pointers and encouragement in writing, continually affirming God’s use of writers in our world to build His kingdom.

And then, He allowed me to join a military writer’s critique group. I finally have a touching point with service men and women and my writing. He will bring the contacts when and where I need them.

Each of these people have no idea how much they’ve blessed me. And going back to the conference—just the fact that it was at no charge to me, allowed me to enjoy something that I probably would never have paid for. I would have missed out on so much.

God literally dumped a load of resources on top of me. If resources were water, I would’ve drowned. God has affirmed His current plan for my life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do what I love for His glory. If it’s my honest and deepest desire to bring hope, healing, and glory to Him through the things I write, then write. Mindy Kiker from Flourish Writers shared that if she has fears or struggles while writing, then she knows that that is the devil trying to stop something that God will use momentously, even if it’s just to change one person.

Maybe you’re in a similar struggle as me right now. Maybe you’re wondering if writing is worth it. Maybe you’re wondering if God cares about writing. I did. But don’t just wonder. Don’t just struggle. Talk to Him. You never know what gifts He’s waiting to dump on you…if you just ask.

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“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” – Matthew 8:7-8 Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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P.S.

Today’s post is my 52^nd blog post. 52 weeks of blogging. One year of posts released. Yay!

I want to celebrate and give you a gift of 15 downloadable printables (provided through Google Docs below) as a thank you for reading this blog. I appreciate each of you so much.

You may download and print as many as you’d like, but please do not copy, sell, or claim the artwork as your own. Feel free to pass the printables on as gifts.

Enjoy your present!