Not in My Hands

Too much silence, but I can’t hear.

Too much pain that sticks too near.

Too many thoughts for me to cite.

Too many words, but I can’t write.

The darkness and the light

Mix in psychedelic fight.

So much hurt and I can’t fix it.

Too much brokenness, but I can’t heal it.

I’m on the outside, looking in.

I’m keep on fighting, but I can’t seem to win.

I feel like I’m running,

But only out of time.

There’s a weight I can’t shake,

A wave that won’t break.

I’m sinking like Peter,

In need of the Healer.

I’m tired, I’m done,

But my race’s just begun.

I don’t have the strength,

I don’t have the rank,

To win the fight,

To create the light.

I’m shattered and broke.

Weighed down by this yoke.

Keep giving it to Him,

But His face feels dim.

Don’t have the solutions

Just a Resolution.

“Pick up my feet,

Don’t live in defeat.”

It’s not up to me,

Even when I can’t see.

He’s ahead and behind,

Holding this life of mine.

Lift up my eyes,

And press toward the Prize.

Move on ahead,

I won’t drop dead.

Endure for the joy—

Dejection destroy.

Say yes to the call,

Even though I might fall.

Stand, ’cause He’ll lift me,

Go, ’cause He’ll lead me,

Run, ’cause He’ll bear me,

Jump, ‘cause He’ll catch me.

Shoot higher than I can,

’Cause it’s not in my hands.