Comparison is the Thief of Joy

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I’ve read several blog posts on how fear can paralyze writing. About a week and a half ago, however, one of my best friends publicly shared her story about how God has changed her life. She mentioned how she struggled with self-worth and her appearance, and she shared this quote, credited to Theodore Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

It’s not only fear that can paralyze your writing. I believe that it’s comparison too, among a host of other things including procrastination, writer’s block, and laziness.

The People Pleaser

I’m a people pleaser. There are some people that I strive to please more than others, specifically those whose advice, work, lives, opinion, and person that I admire and value. When these individuals ask me how my writing is going, a lot of times it makes me feel uncomfortable. I never feel that my work is good enough. It sends me in a spiral of nervousness and self-consciousness about the things I’ve written.

There are some people whose feedback I value so highly, that I find myself writing all my things to cater to them, to their likes, to ensure that I’ll get positive criticism from them. I start narrowing my focus to that one person.

Comparison

At a young writer’s workshop that I attended in June 2017, I had the opportunity to participate in a live critique group with six others, five of whom shared their work. Wow. I’ve got to say, three of the girls in particular had some amazing novels. The descriptions were vivid paintings, the intrigue was rich, and the content unexpected and unique. All the novel excerpts shared contained concepts that I had never thought about: a steampunk retelling of a well-known novel, a superhero story with unique powers, a story whose main character was quite unexpected (in respect for copyright to their authors’ ideas, I won’t be specific).

But let me just say, I sat there with the 2^nd and 3^rd draft excerpts to my historical fiction novel thinking, “How did they do this? How did they come up with ideas so unique, so fanciful, so intriguing?” I’m pretty sure that I’ll be tied to historical fiction for most of my writing career, just because I don’t have the mind to build worlds of science fiction. I work better with a real world, real events, and real people.

Added to that, I found out that one of the best stories in the critique group was the author’s first novel. What? Her descriptions were explosive, the pictures clear, and the characters real. She did mention that she had been writing for some time and hadn’t ever finished a novel, putting this one technically as her first, but still…

Another girl with the steampunk novel said that she had written close to fifty novels in her around fifteen years of age. Granted, the ones written in her younger years are probably not worthy of the title “novel,” but that number shows serious commitment to her work.

Look at that…

Looking at others like that is discouraging. It makes me discouraged that after pouring a year and a half of myself into my novel, my second draft is in a sorry state compared to this other girl’s first book. I started writing seriously around the age of sixteen/seventeen, and here is a girl younger than me who had written 25 to 50 times more “novels” than me.

I look at my work and don’t see it as good as I’d like it to be for that one person whose opinion I value so much. It’s not good enough.

I compare my second novel to my first one. I’ll admit, I’m fairly pleased with the most recent draft of my first novel and expected the rough draft quality of my second novel to be comparable to the third draft quality of my first, due to the techniques, lessons, and mistakes I’ve learned from. But it’s not. Yes, this second novel is leaps ahead of where my first novel started as far as realistic character development, dialogue, and description, but its lacking sorely in conflict in key areas.

Who are you?

I only have a small circle of friends who read my work, and I honestly write in hopes that God will somehow use it for His greater glory. I’m not published yet. I don’t make money off my work. For me, writing is supposed to be a fun thing.

But when I get caught up in looking at other people, or even other pieces of my work, the joy goes out of it. I start writing to please others, instead of delighting in the story that I want to tell. I start getting discouraged or bored that my writing isn’t as advanced as quick as I’d like it to be, and then I start playing Candy Crush until I run out of lives because I’m bored, braindead, or just scared to try to write anything.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

The truth is, I’m not those other young writers. Not everyone is meant to write sci-fi, steampunk, or whatever. Not everyone has amazing and beautiful rough drafts. Most people don’t write fifty novels before they turn eighteen.

I’m me. I have my own, specific, God-given brain and purpose that no one else does. You have yours. Use it. We’re all individuals. We can’t all be the same, because as Paul said concerning spiritual gifts in the body of Christ, “For in fact the body is not one member but many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,’ is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,’ is it therefore not of the body?...But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased…But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’; nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.” 1 Cor. 12:14-16, 18, 20-22. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

So, don’t let your comparison suffocate your writing. Write your style, in your words, at your pace. If it’s historical fiction, write it. If it’s mystery, write it. If your rough draft dialogue is flat, write it. Even if it’s not as large scale a piece as a novel, write it. Getting it out on paper is better than never getting it out in the first place. There is a time and place for editing.

Your individuality is a beautiful thing because God created it uniquely for you. You have a purpose in the way He made you. You complement the picture of His world perfectly as part of His bigger vision to build a kingdom where He is worshiped and adored. Don’t spend your time trying to become someone else who He didn’t make you to be.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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You have your own, specific, God-given brain and purpose that no one else does. Use it.

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