You Thought You Wrote Better

Photo by Thom Holmes on Unsplash

“I thought I wrote better than this.”

Have you thought that to yourself before? Have you worked hard on a project, just to suddenly see all its flaws after some time away from it? Or maybe someone else didn’t think it was as good as you did.

It’s pretty discouraging.

Recently, I finished self-critiquing the rough draft of my second novel in preparation to begin revision. Nearly four-months away from the book allowed me to gain fresh perspective as I reviewed the novel. I found the emotions overdramatic, the narration a bit too tell-y, and honestly, boredom crept into me more than once. What’s worse is that the climactic chapter saw the usage of way too much telling, on-the-nose dialogue, and convenient author-orchestration to make the events happen the way I needed them to go.

I thought I wrote better than that.

On top of that, I feel like I’ve not been practicing what I preach to my blog readers. I’ve kept fairly disciplined in pursuing revision, am working weekly on co-authoring a fantasy, but I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. I don’t feel like I’m writing well. I don’t feel like I’m writing bold. And though there’s about a dozen stories I want to tell…I’m not. Something is holding me back, and I think it’s laziness.

I don’t feel like I’m blogging well. When I started, I wrote posts that I felt spoke to the heart, addressed writing techniques, and focused on you—my reader—and not me. But I just keep talking about myself (obviously, look at this post).

I thought I wrote better than this. It’s depressing.

Discouragement isn’t fun. It sneaks up on exhausted minds, plays on lies, and makes quitting sound like a good idea. So, sometimes, we’ve got to look at what’s causing the discouragement and turn it inside out or upside down. We’ve got to see it differently. Look at that phrase again.

“I thought I wrote better than this.”

Maybe you actually do. Maybe you can think that because you know better now. You’ve come to a place where you can spot the weaknesses, the flaws, the cheesy dialogue. You’ve learned more since the last time you worked on that now somewhat ugly project. You’ve grown. You do write better than that.

Dan Schwabauer once shared that most people quit their writing right on the brink of breaking in, of getting recognized or published.

Harriet Beecher-Stowe said, “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time when the tide will turn.”

So, if you’re feeling discouraged in your writing, if you feel like quitting, if you thought you wrote better than the present situation says, don’t give up. Let it teach you. You care enough to wish your work was better, so take the next step and pursue a better standard of writing. Excellence takes work. And perhaps, most importantly, remember that you aren’t alone in your struggle. We all feel it at some point in our writing journey. Even published authors get discouraged and self-conscious about their work.

It’s okay. Just keep writing.

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"Success is not final, failure is not fatal...it is the courage to continue that counts." – Sir Winston Churchill

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